Berwin han has a really twisted brain. Over msn, i was telling him my problems. In primary 6 science we call it the "food web". So it's something like, cat is preying on the rat, comes along another predator, the snake. So the cat and the snake are fighting for the rat. So i asked berwin if i were the cat, what would he advise me to do. Berwin said i eat the rat quickly or kill the snake. But being human, i start telling him how hard it would be to kill the stupid snake, so there would still be problems. So he sugessted he kill the cause of the fight, the rat. But then the problem would be, the cat(me) gets sad because there'ld be no food. So after all the advise he gave which lead to more problems, he got fucked up and said "I know how to solve all the problem, you see ar, you tell me your problem, end up i also got problem, so i kill you then surely you won't have anymore problems and i also have no problem!". So idiot child berwin made me laugh with that and i felt better, sometimes talking to an idiot makes you feel good!

I caught one missed call today, and bloody hell, i bet the director must have recieved one million missed calls. He and his lousy show, defitnetly millions of people will call him and complain the waste of their ticket money. What was worse was that a stupid guy with a head of the size of a watermelon sat infront of me. Fucking hell, if i did not changed my seat, i wouldn't have been the least freaked out in the show. Why? Because that watermelon head covered most of my vision and i wouldn't have to be afraid when the ghost appears. Okay, so after something blocks my eyes, something else affected my ears. A bunch of crazy girls (the watermelon head's friends) were screaming like they were in a roller coaster ride or as if their friend, the watermelon head started to rip his juciy fruity head apart and show it to them. Back to the bad content of the movie, there wasn't really an ending. So thumbs down, adding to the bad movie go-ers seating infront of me, brr, i felt like i wasted 7 bucks.

My parent praised our family today, for good self control. For not swtiching on the air con without thinking thus saving the electricity bill, but actual fact is...the weather is too cold in the nights nowadays so i do not turn it on. But i just claimed the credit by putting on a wide smile. We never got nagged about switching on the aircon rentlessly, until recently. Must be all the heavy taxes our parents get imposed on, remember before the increase of the gst hike when the government gave out money incentives to every citizen aged 18 -21? That was the period of the election too. Well, maybe it's just to blind the people, money do in fact blind people and make them do stupid things. So that's why the PAP won again even though they upsetted almost the whole nation by increasing the gst to 7%. So next time they do that again, maybe you'ld like to advise your parents on voting. Teenagers never will get the sum of money, only the adults do. So what if they give our parents a couple of hundred bucks? The increase in cost of living will take away a big part of that "couple of hundreds" they give our parents, and what about our parents needing to raise us? Pocket money doesn't increase when food prices are soaring out there. So when some tv reporters on the streets ask for comments about how they feel about the governments decision, who in the fuck dares to say "oh yalor, these people are WRONG in making things so expensive now *then shouts 'next time i don't support your PAP ar !'*." So what happens when nobody dares to make a public outcry? You seat at kopitiams and hear ah peks shouting to each other in hokkien about how fucked up the government is. I swear, i always see this happening at almost every kopitiam, especially during the increase of gst period. I even once saw one ah pek pointing the middle finger to the tv in the kopitiam when MR LEE's face was shown in news. He didn't stop there, he continues pushing his middle finger in and out of a hole created by his other hand (try doing that to see what i mean, you wouldn't wanna do it infront of your family, it's something bad). So my main issue is, I NEED MORE POCKET MONEY ! And of course the sub issue is about how unhappy i am with all the new changes made.

I really wanna go up to jacky's face and shout him a big big THANK YOU...not, you tiny little fucker. Eunice (our maid) is complaining that she's being ill treated by michael jacky (our house's very own self proclaimed michael jackson's brother). She tells mum that jacky is extremely generous, not with his tidbits or drinks. But with his vulgarities and bad manners. I'm not really at home most of the time, so by hearsay, i hear that jacky loves hiding in a corner and "BOO" at eunice scaring the wits out of her. He loves to immitate the hong kong traids and use eunice as his street rival hurling attacks(small punches/not fatal/for fun) at her and all sort of vulgarities. So being eunice, she couldn't take it and complained to mum. So mum told eunice to decide carefully before making a choice, it's her call if she wanna go. Upon hearing that, i strengthed my bilateral ties with eunice, trying to physco her to stay. I can't do without someone cleaning up my room everyday and all the chores. If she leaves, i think my bum will no longer be resting on the couch forever and i have to do chores ! That is horribly bad. I have a ominous feeling that she is gonna leave, and mum said she wouldn't wanna go through all the trouble for a new maid, we'll just have to make do. So who should my family fuck? Michael jacky.

My world came crashing down yesterday afternoon. What have i been going after for the past few months? I can't really answer that myself. I told myself before i quit school, i would do something meaningful, useful throughout the one year break. But it seems that i'm trying to go after something that doesn't exist, i know it doesn't exist, yet whenever reality knocks hard on my door, i refuse to face the truth and hold on to those silly "dreams" of mine that "dreams will come true one day". I must have been watching too much dramas. You know how it feels like? I tell you, it feels exactly like i'm trying to let something go that is tightly chained to a part of me. I haven't been really going to church for a period of time, but still... dear god the only thing i ask of you is to hold her when i'm not around, when i'm much too far away. We all need that person who can be true to you. But i have to leave her when i found her. And now i wish i could stay cause i'm lonely, i'm tired and i'm missing you again.

Hearing all the stuff about friends failing or succeeding in a relationship, a stupid thought flashed through my mind, a word that i learnt in secondary school maths, reciprocation. Originating from the word reciprocate, this word actually applies to almost anything, you can name anything in life and it applies to it. Just like you work hard, you get promoted. You study hard, good grades. So you put in good effort, you get good returns. Similarly, you put in bad effort, you get bad returns. Like, play hard and fail your exams. Something like that. So i realised this word which applies for most things loses it's prerogative to say "reciprocate applies to anything in life" when it comes together with the word "relationship". It is just that hard for "reciprocate" to apply in a relationship (wooing period mainly), you put 50% of effort, you SELDOM (not saying never) get back the good returns. So you put in good effort but get lesser or nothing in return. I'm talking about real time relationships and not flings. Relationships must be the number one cause of heartbreaking. If only relationships reciprocates like enmity, you give one punch to me, i'm dying to give you back two or three punches. You curse my dad, i curse your entire family tree, something like that, giving you back more than you deserve. Wouldn't it be nice?

Berwin han is a motherfucking stingy+petty+crazy fella. Over one broken nail clipper, he ranted at me for the evening from his house all the way to mine. What happened was, he wanted to change his rusty guitar strings, so i advised him to use the nail clipper to snap the strings (i saw that from a teevee show where the girl used her nail clippers to snap of the stings of the guitar when her woo-er was playing to her). Okay, i lied about me using this method before. But how the hell would we have guessed instead of the string snapping, his fucking nail clipper snapped. And he cursed me and my father. Berwin han ah ! Why so stingy? Nail clipper only 50 cents, i buy you 20 clippers for you to use each on every toe and finger lahh ! He continued to say he needs to use it and has no more clippers. Fucking retard, your nail grows few centimetre every minute ar!? Is there a need to use your nail clipper so vigourously?! And i bet your nail clipper must be from the chapalang store, please start buying original nail clippers from the "Nail clipper specialist store". Where they have different clippers for different types of nail hardness, make sure you see the official stamp and get a warranty card ! Only then will you know if you have bought an original nail clipper.