I'm In A Bad Patch

I look at you with such disdain, sometimes friends or family they don't really comprehend when i turn to them. So i stay away and be alone, maybe it's best this way. You don't give me what i deserve. I don't wanna make things any worse, so i don't speak these words. Push it further and i might spit it out causing much dismay. Give me what i'm worth, and we'll steer clear from each other as family no longer matters to me anymore. I realised what you see might never be the truth, even your closest betrays you. And expect you to return to them after awhile. Hell no, this time i'm not. We're gonna remain the way we are now, the distance between us, the emptiness, the awkwardness and everything else. For this is the price you pay for betraying me throughout my life, making me look like a fool to the rest of the family. You should have seen this coming, blame no one else but yourself. Don't say i've changed, i was like this all along. It's just that i let you make me look like a fool, when i speak up, i look and feel different. That explains the change. I blame myself too, i don't put all the blame on you. But i only go extremely wild during the holidays, i don't do that during school periods do i? How often does my holidays come? It's only just awhile, and you condemn me for one wrong thing i've done many years ago. It just doesn't goes right. I'll assure you i'll leave you as soon as possible, once i'm financially independent. I swear i'll never treat my kids like how you do, this i swear. And look what you've done, you've changed the atmosphere of my blog, it used to be jovial and nice. You made me inject sadness, anger and dissapointment in it.