My world came crashing down yesterday afternoon. What have i been going after for the past few months? I can't really answer that myself. I told myself before i quit school, i would do something meaningful, useful throughout the one year break. But it seems that i'm trying to go after something that doesn't exist, i know it doesn't exist, yet whenever reality knocks hard on my door, i refuse to face the truth and hold on to those silly "dreams" of mine that "dreams will come true one day". I must have been watching too much dramas. You know how it feels like? I tell you, it feels exactly like i'm trying to let something go that is tightly chained to a part of me. I haven't been really going to church for a period of time, but still... dear god the only thing i ask of you is to hold her when i'm not around, when i'm much too far away. We all need that person who can be true to you. But i have to leave her when i found her. And now i wish i could stay cause i'm lonely, i'm tired and i'm missing you again.